Approved and Accepted?

Recently I was asked to share briefly with a group of young moms. I wasn't the main speaker. I'd just been asked to come answer a few questions. I arrived early only to find no one wanted to talk with me. Oh there were a few who responded when I took the initiative but it was obvious they were just being nice and after answering a few questions left to talk with their friends. Not one person was excited to talk with me. In fact one asked, "Have you been able to meet people your own age?"

How did this make me feel? Embarrassed, unwanted, very alone... I spent the first 45 minutes on the verge of tears fighting the urge to just leave. I hadn't even wanted to come in the first place! Situations like this are hard enough when you are hearing impaired.

But Jesus wanted me there, so I was there. He wanted me to remain, so I stayed. But it sure wasn't easy!

You better believe I was praying James 1:5 whenever I was asked to answer a question! And true to His promise, the Lord provided the wisdom and words to encourage these moms.

Afterwards many came up to give me big hugs and tell me how much they benefitted from what I shared. One even said, "I would so love to sit at your feet and listen to you!" and I thought, "You wouldn't even talk to me an hour ago!"

The next morning I woke pondering this, asking the Lord to help me understand. He led me to look up the word "accept." It comes from Latin ad = to, capere= take, and literally means "to take to oneself." And I thought, that's it! Even those who interacted with me at the beginning, they didn't take me to themselves. There wasn't any connection, or even interest in forging one.... not until after I spoke and they saw there might be some value in knowing me.

Only after I was approved was I accepted.

The word approve means "to believe that something is good or acceptable." It's archaic meaning is to prove or demonstrate.

After I proved I had some value, I was approved - the women believed that I was good - and then accepted me - eagerly "took me to their hearts."

I hadn't changed - but when their perception of me changed, did that ever impact their actions.

And I wonder - how many times do I do this too?

In Romans 15:7 we are told, "Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God."

How did Christ accept us?

"While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He took us to himself, when there was nothing lovable or even desirable about us. While we were still his enemies!

Do you see grace here?!

One of my friends recently shared in her blog (Echoes of Grace) about brown paper packages (remember how they are mentioned in the Sound of Music?!) and did that ever get me thinking...

Brown paper packages don't look like much. How could they have been one of Fraulein Maria's favorite things?! Because she had the expectation that something desirable was inside!

In Psalm 139:14 David writes, "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well."

And I wonder - when I first meet people do I have that expectancy that because they are a wonderful work of God there is treasure inside, even though all I may see at first is the brown paper packaging?

And considering all believers have the Holy Spirit inside - you are guaranteed to find treasure if you take the time to listen!

But here's the interesting thing - acceptance doesn't necessarily require something first be good. It can also mean "Willing to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation."

Could it be we tend to hold people at a distance when we first meet them because we are afraid they might prove difficult or unpleasant? We don't want to risk getting too close until we know we're safe?!

May I learn to accept others, to really take them to myself, when I first meet them in order to bring glory to God. How can this be? Because when I accept others, before they've ever proved themselves, I am visually illustrating what God does with all of us!

Not being accepted felt awful! I am so thankful Jesus never treats me this way! May I learn to accept people graciously, even when all I see is brown paper packaging!

The Beautiful Injustice of Grace

Ever seen someone recognized who didn't deserve it? Does that ever grate on me!

Like doing a group project in school and the teacher highlights the one student who contributed the least to the project! Inside I just want to scream, "Wait! This is so not fair!"

But it's funny, in the spiritual realm where God's strength is made evident through weakness we can sure experience this too, can't we?

And what a gift it is each time we do!

This morning in my quiet time I was reading in Luke 7:36-50. A pharisee has invited Jesus to dinner, but he's not the only one who shows up! From the moment he comes in a "woman of the city, who was a sinner" brings an alabaster jar of ointment and "standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment."

The Pharisee immediately starts criticizing - oh not out loud! He wouldn't want to be rude! But Jesus knows what he's saying to himself and tells him the story of two debtors who experience their debts being cancelled and asks, "Now which of them will love him the most?"

When reading this I always identify with the woman. I know Jesus has forgiven me much - that's why I love him so much!

But today God opened my eyes to see how much I am like the pharisee. Especially when He blesses those I don't think deserve it. I love it when I experience God's grace - Him lavishing His riches on me through Christ when I don't deserve it at all. But it sure can bother me when I see him do this for others. Especially when it occurs in an arena where I've been "working hard" and they haven't - yet they find favor... or are promoted... or receive special gifts...!

And God gently pointed out, "Don't you see Deb, whenever this happens it's a gift to you. It helps you identify gaps of grace in your perspective. Whenever you feel like your hard work has earned something, you resent others being given favor. But the truth is can you do anything apart from me? What if I bless those who don't deserve it not only for their benefit, but yours too? To humble you and keep growing you in grace?!"

The woman in the story was totally focused on Jesus and left blessed. She knew how great her debt was! She knew she didn't deserve what He did for her. And she loved Him because of it. But the pharisees missed out!

And I realize when I think its my performance that counts, that earns me favor or position or provision, I miss out on experiencing more of Jesus - seeing in action how He is full of grace!

It's so easy to read the story and judge the pharisees and not realize I do the same thing. And when I do, I miss out on the beauty of grace - that not even God's provision is tied to performance nor people finding favor. What a great reminder these situations are - even though they do prick my pride.

Small wonder You select the weakest - even Gideon who starts out threshing wheat in a wine press - to accomplish your purposes so it's clear it's You and not us who makes things happen - so You get the glory!

That poor women enjoyed such a beautiful encounter with You - experiencing Your kindness, protection, acceptance, forgiveness and affirmation. She left rich! But in the same situation, with the same opportunity, those pharisees so missed out! May my eyes be fixed on you like hers were.

And may I begin to recognize that indignation is a signal I've wandered from adoring and appreciating you, that I've wandered from grace.