Resting

When I wrote the Bible study for the first Smoky Mountain Summer Training Program I was racing against the clock. We arrived at the program to find we didn't have the materials our students needed so my husband asked me to write a Bible study on the book of Genesis that would help grow students in their inductive Bible study skills as they worked through it. To do this I had to do my own study, then write out what I did, and then do the Bible study again to see what it would be like from the students' perspective and then edit it after I did this... I began each chapter one week ahead of the students. The entire last day while editing I kept getting text messages from the team leaders asking if it was completed yet! One day, while everyone else in the program went white water rafting, I stayed back and said, "I am not getting up from this room until this Bible study is done." I worked nonstop on it from 6 in the morning until 3 pm... and then hit a wall. No matter how hard I tried, I was just spinning my wheels. It was like the Lord said, "That's enough. That's all I want you to do today. Let it rest." But I was tired of getting those text messages and I wanted it done! I stayed in that room working on it until 8 that night and made no headway at all. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't progress anymore! And I realized, God had a specific timetable for the writing of this. Apart from Him I could do nothing. One thing I was committed to was honoring the Sabbath. So even though the Bible study was "due" on Monday the Lord laid it on my heart to do no work on it on Sunday. This was so hard. But you know, I started noticing that even though I wasn't working on the Bible study on Sundays, they were key days when the Lord was at work on the study. I'd be hiking with my husband and a new idea or approach would pop into my brain, and when I resumed work in the wee hours of Monday morning it was amazing how things would just come together. Week after week I was reminded of a crock pot. You work diligently to get all the ingredients prepared, chopped and added but there comes a time where you turn that crock pot on and set it aside and while you're doing nothing cooking-wise, something delicious is happening inside that makes it taste a thousand times better than when you were working on it. I learned rest is a vital part of the creative process. Lately I've been thinking how that's true spiritually too. Rest is a vital part of spiritual transformation. Just this morning in my quiet time I read Proverbs 8:34 "Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors." Listening, watching daily and waiting. Waiting is a key part of the process. But I like to do! And as soon as I'm done doing one thing I'm off to do the next thing! But as I chewed on this the Lord brought to mind another cooking analogy... Thirty Minutes. That's how long I need to knead bread to get a beautiful loaf. Lately I've been playing seven of my favorite worship songs so I make a joyful noise while I get an incredible upper body workout. And is it ever a workout. But you know the beauty of the loaf doesn't come from that work - I mean, the hard work of kneading is an important part of the process but if I kneaded it for the three hours it takes to make the loaf it would stay dense and small. The beauty actually happens when I place the loaf aside for an hour... when I let it "rest" it rises! So here I am, about to start our sabbatical, a season of rest. And this morning I sense the Lord saying "Just like the Bible study Deb, you can't always be working, working, working! Sometimes you need to just sit, just rest and be still and let me do my work in you... and when you do, you can rise to much greater heights than if you were working all the time." Rest... does it ever provide opportunity to see how our growth really is a gift of God's grace!

Approved and Accepted?

Recently I was asked to share briefly with a group of young moms. I wasn't the main speaker. I'd just been asked to come answer a few questions. I arrived early only to find no one wanted to talk with me. Oh there were a few who responded when I took the initiative but it was obvious they were just being nice and after answering a few questions left to talk with their friends. Not one person was excited to talk with me. In fact one asked, "Have you been able to meet people your own age?"

How did this make me feel? Embarrassed, unwanted, very alone... I spent the first 45 minutes on the verge of tears fighting the urge to just leave. I hadn't even wanted to come in the first place! Situations like this are hard enough when you are hearing impaired.

But Jesus wanted me there, so I was there. He wanted me to remain, so I stayed. But it sure wasn't easy!

You better believe I was praying James 1:5 whenever I was asked to answer a question! And true to His promise, the Lord provided the wisdom and words to encourage these moms.

Afterwards many came up to give me big hugs and tell me how much they benefitted from what I shared. One even said, "I would so love to sit at your feet and listen to you!" and I thought, "You wouldn't even talk to me an hour ago!"

The next morning I woke pondering this, asking the Lord to help me understand. He led me to look up the word "accept." It comes from Latin ad = to, capere= take, and literally means "to take to oneself." And I thought, that's it! Even those who interacted with me at the beginning, they didn't take me to themselves. There wasn't any connection, or even interest in forging one.... not until after I spoke and they saw there might be some value in knowing me.

Only after I was approved was I accepted.

The word approve means "to believe that something is good or acceptable." It's archaic meaning is to prove or demonstrate.

After I proved I had some value, I was approved - the women believed that I was good - and then accepted me - eagerly "took me to their hearts."

I hadn't changed - but when their perception of me changed, did that ever impact their actions.

And I wonder - how many times do I do this too?

In Romans 15:7 we are told, "Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God."

How did Christ accept us?

"While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He took us to himself, when there was nothing lovable or even desirable about us. While we were still his enemies!

Do you see grace here?!

One of my friends recently shared in her blog (Echoes of Grace) about brown paper packages (remember how they are mentioned in the Sound of Music?!) and did that ever get me thinking...

Brown paper packages don't look like much. How could they have been one of Fraulein Maria's favorite things?! Because she had the expectation that something desirable was inside!

In Psalm 139:14 David writes, "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well."

And I wonder - when I first meet people do I have that expectancy that because they are a wonderful work of God there is treasure inside, even though all I may see at first is the brown paper packaging?

And considering all believers have the Holy Spirit inside - you are guaranteed to find treasure if you take the time to listen!

But here's the interesting thing - acceptance doesn't necessarily require something first be good. It can also mean "Willing to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation."

Could it be we tend to hold people at a distance when we first meet them because we are afraid they might prove difficult or unpleasant? We don't want to risk getting too close until we know we're safe?!

May I learn to accept others, to really take them to myself, when I first meet them in order to bring glory to God. How can this be? Because when I accept others, before they've ever proved themselves, I am visually illustrating what God does with all of us!

Not being accepted felt awful! I am so thankful Jesus never treats me this way! May I learn to accept people graciously, even when all I see is brown paper packaging!

The Beautiful Injustice of Grace

Ever seen someone recognized who didn't deserve it? Does that ever grate on me!

Like doing a group project in school and the teacher highlights the one student who contributed the least to the project! Inside I just want to scream, "Wait! This is so not fair!"

But it's funny, in the spiritual realm where God's strength is made evident through weakness we can sure experience this too, can't we?

And what a gift it is each time we do!

This morning in my quiet time I was reading in Luke 7:36-50. A pharisee has invited Jesus to dinner, but he's not the only one who shows up! From the moment he comes in a "woman of the city, who was a sinner" brings an alabaster jar of ointment and "standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment."

The Pharisee immediately starts criticizing - oh not out loud! He wouldn't want to be rude! But Jesus knows what he's saying to himself and tells him the story of two debtors who experience their debts being cancelled and asks, "Now which of them will love him the most?"

When reading this I always identify with the woman. I know Jesus has forgiven me much - that's why I love him so much!

But today God opened my eyes to see how much I am like the pharisee. Especially when He blesses those I don't think deserve it. I love it when I experience God's grace - Him lavishing His riches on me through Christ when I don't deserve it at all. But it sure can bother me when I see him do this for others. Especially when it occurs in an arena where I've been "working hard" and they haven't - yet they find favor... or are promoted... or receive special gifts...!

And God gently pointed out, "Don't you see Deb, whenever this happens it's a gift to you. It helps you identify gaps of grace in your perspective. Whenever you feel like your hard work has earned something, you resent others being given favor. But the truth is can you do anything apart from me? What if I bless those who don't deserve it not only for their benefit, but yours too? To humble you and keep growing you in grace?!"

The woman in the story was totally focused on Jesus and left blessed. She knew how great her debt was! She knew she didn't deserve what He did for her. And she loved Him because of it. But the pharisees missed out!

And I realize when I think its my performance that counts, that earns me favor or position or provision, I miss out on experiencing more of Jesus - seeing in action how He is full of grace!

It's so easy to read the story and judge the pharisees and not realize I do the same thing. And when I do, I miss out on the beauty of grace - that not even God's provision is tied to performance nor people finding favor. What a great reminder these situations are - even though they do prick my pride.

Small wonder You select the weakest - even Gideon who starts out threshing wheat in a wine press - to accomplish your purposes so it's clear it's You and not us who makes things happen - so You get the glory!

That poor women enjoyed such a beautiful encounter with You - experiencing Your kindness, protection, acceptance, forgiveness and affirmation. She left rich! But in the same situation, with the same opportunity, those pharisees so missed out! May my eyes be fixed on you like hers were.

And may I begin to recognize that indignation is a signal I've wandered from adoring and appreciating you, that I've wandered from grace.

Without grace...

It began as a dream job. Though I was only twenty-five, I aced the interview. A previous employer highly recommended me. My future boss, who knew my previous boss, was so impressed she offered me top dollar to come work for her. For the first month we worked together well.

But one day she received a call from a frantic grad student whose dissertation draft was missing. This occurred years before personal computers became popular and it was her only copy. Just a few days prior my boss asked me to send it to her and I did. But after receiving the call my boss stormed into my office. “Did you mail that package?!”

Of course I did. But there was no proof.

From that moment my boss’ attitude toward me changed. Suspicion reigned. Was I really doing what she asked? She began to cross-examine everything. Under such scrutiny I became a nervous wreck . It was only a matter of time until I made a mistake and when I did it was the final nail in the coffin. This woman who’d valued me so highly upon hire, became convinced I was worthless and did nothing right. I plummeted from blessed to oppressed in a single day!

A week later, I called the grad student to apologize explaining we still couldn’t locate the draft of her dissertation. “Oh, it came the next day,” she shared, “I just forgot to call.”

By this time that made no difference to my boss. No matter how many things I did right, she didn’t trust me. In fact, she despised me.

And it just dawned on me… do you know what made that job so horrendous? There was no grace! I was highly valued when my boss approved my performance, esteemed while I was earning her favor. But the moment she thought I’d made a mistake she lost all regard for me!

What’s even more astonishing is realizing the impact that lack of grace had on me. It changed me.

I began to dread going to work each day. As I dragged my feet, I started arriving late and made even more mistakes. My heart was no longer in the job. I was trapped in a downward spiral becoming who she thought I was!

Recovering from that damage took years!

It’s sobering to consider how a lack of grace can serve as such a powerful agent of change in someone’s life... for the worse!

What destruction do I leave in my wake when I relate without grace?

Small wonder Peter concludes his second letter to believers encouraging them to “grow in grace.” (2 Peter 3:18) Reflecting on this certainly motivates me to do so even more!

Accept one another, then...

"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." Romans 15:7

Amazing to think that I can bring praise to God just by accepting another person as Christ accepts me! How does this happen? How can this be?

What does it mean to "accept" someone?

Now what the NIV translates as "accept" the ESV translates as "welcome" and the KJV says "receive." The Greek word literally means "to receive to oneself, admit to one's society and fellowship, receive and treat with kindness."

When I think of the word welcome, two thoughts come to mind. One is excitedly opening the door to let in a dear friend you are eager to see. Another is smiling with gritted teeth, saying "won't you please come in" while you hope futilely they won't. What makes the difference? The way I perceive who is standing in front of me and what the time will be like - which can depend on them or on me. If it's easy, I'm all for it!

In general, I love people. I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. So when do I not give an eager welcome? When I'm tired, busy or have past experiences with them that weren't so great. So basically I like to welcome people I've had good experiences with, but not those I haven't. Why? Because usually that results in a comfortable, enjoyable time.

Who do I dread meeting the most? Those who are highly needy with no sense of boundaries! Why? Because it's hard for me to say no and to handle those types of people. Those are the ones I groan inwardly even when I do open that front door.

So how can accepting them bring praise to God?!!!

I've got to get this down before I'm going to want to open the door, let alone be eager about it!

I think I better back up and first consider, what does it mean to bring praise to God?

Note that this word in the KJV is translated "glory." It comes from the word dokeo which means to think or recognize. God's glory is who He really is and to give glory to him is to recognize who He really is. (ok this is really simplified, for a better understanding go to Spiros Zodhiates' Complete Word Study Dictionary p. 478-481 and you can read four pages covering this one word!)

So how can my accepting others the way Christ accepted me bring glory to God?

By helping me as well as others recognize who God truly is.

So consider... how does Christ accept me?

It cost Jesus dearly to accept me. Pain, suffering, sacrifice. It was not easy. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. He saved me "not because of righteous deeds I had done but because of his mercy..." He died for me while I was his enemy.

Not even for Jesus was acceptance an easy thing! Wow! That's pretty sobering to remember. So why should I expect it to be easy? And feel justified in not doing it when it's not?!

Now here's the kicker - when I accept others I have the opportunity to discover how incredibly hard it is to do this, and that gives me opportunity to catch a tiny glimpse of what it cost Jesus to do this. As I recognize what a monumental task this is I can better appreciate not only what it cost Him to do this for me and with me, but also who He is to be able to do something so incredible as this for all believers all through time! Wow! What an amazing God!

But if I only accept those who are easy and enjoyable to be with when they are kind to me and when it's convenient to me, I am totally going to miss out on recognizing this aspect of who God is.

I've heard it said the harder something is the more clearly you can see God's hand in it! :0) Which would then imply those people who are most difficult for me to "accept" or truly receive with joy - well, those are my best opportunities for discovering as well as displaying who God really is - and the tremendous difference He's making in my life!

In The Complete Word Study Dictionary, Spiros Zodhiates writes, "The predominate meaning of the noun doxa in Scripture is recognition. It may denote form, aspect, or that appearance of a person or thing which catches the eye, attracts attention, or commands recognition." (p.479) Whenever we see someone bless someone who really deserves to be yelled at or shunned, does it ever attract our attention. Whenever we see someone be kind to someone who has really hurt them, does that ever catch our eye!

When I fail to do this, I live out the truth of Romans 3:23 falling short of the glory of God - I'm not being what God intended me to be. I lack his character and fail to image Him.

Which is exactly why it was so costly for Jesus to accept me! But thank God He did!

Ok I'm convinced and off to answer the door... and I actually have a willing heart, eager to see what I'll learn through this! That in itself is a miracle!

Thank you Lord!